so dats my name.

i hv rarely used my real name except in occasions requiring formality or when writing forms,exam papers etc.ive been called anor eversince the 1st day of my primary school because a frnd who had the same name as mine suggested it(so dat she can be called hidayah)and i,didnt know y,blindly agreed to that(should hv fought for the name!).so dats how i got dat name.when i was a kid i didnt really like my real name because my mom alwys told me dat my name was given by my father instead of her n she wanted to give me a cuter name like putri sumthing2 lol.back then i alwys thought that my siblings have better names than mine because they were my mom's idea and mine was my dad's.besides their names hv 3 words (ahmad syafiq nazmi,ahmad shah nazrin,ahmad imran hakimi)and mine was only 2 plus its not unique at all!so i took anor for my real name n hidayah for my 'other' name.well now i think dat hidayah aint dat bad a name.its beautiful in fact not that i wana brag abt it but i think dat i should be proud of my real name.i still believe that names are prayers too.luckily anor has some meaning too(if read annur).true like whats the point of having good names(u hv nooo idea for how many nights(or years)did ur parents racked their brains to find u a name) if in the end it only can be seen in papers and forms because u don't even bother to use it.n yes now i AM grateful that my name is not as lengthy as my brothers because ppl here think that binti is a name too:\.and if i were to hv children one day ill keep their names short,simple but meaningful n i will not allow their frnds to call em other than that(future psycho mommy haha),kidding.anyway.my point is,i love my name.hidayah is me.anor is me too.

peace.

5 b4 5.

time flies.no.i'd rather say time speeds(sounds weird though).or accelerates.doesnt matter,pretty much the same.i reckoned that time moves so fast i could hardly catch up with it.so yes its been quite a while since i made any sense here in my blog.
revising one hadith.a very popular one too.
grab 5 before 5.

health before sickness
youth before decrepitude
wealth before poverty
leisure before work
life before death

n me being busy as ever,i wondered if i could grab any 5 before the other 5.am i even tryinna grab it?

seeing the dead baby in the labour theatre just now reminds me of death which is so near,yet forgotten.
difference is,the baby died and would straight away go to heaven.
we'll die not even knowing if it's as a muslim or otherwise(nauzubillahiminzalik),save going to heaven!?

forgive me.dear Allah.
for im nothing but a sinner..
dilate our bosom dear God.
from the hatred for others,
from holding grudge twds anyone,
protect us dear Allah
from the hatred of others
or from the evil hearts.
and if we die ya Allah.
ease our death with shahadah..
AMINN.

sunday sunday

sunday sunday
don't go away
sunday sunday
my only loyal holiday
sunday sunday
can't you just stay?
sunday sunday
what else should i say
sunday sunday
you'll go anyway..

sunday sunday
just walk away!
sunday sunday
go!don't delay!!
sunday sunday
to hell with sunday
cause tomorrow's monday
and the next day's tuesday
mayday mayday!
wait till it's saturday
then it will be sunday
all over again.(damn tak rhyme!)



moral of the story: if you wana walk away that bad..LIKE I CARE. :)

this post is not supposed to be in this blog.

***** is freaking rich,how i didn't know.*****'s house resembles a castle!!(or vice versa)


why,i've been messing up with rich jerk,n i dont even have a clue!
with that.i rest my case.

done&done.

(wondering what's the fate 4 tomorrow)

the scene i could never forget

"don't bother giving him blood"
"this is not a case that is expected to live anyway"
harsh.heartless.cruel.
yes,listening to those sentences uttered so indifferently in a very normal tone of voice had somewhat taken me aback.blood continued gushing out from the bowel and mesentry of the patient who was lying helplessly unconscious on the operation table.
but as cruel as it might sound to anyone,the burden of fear carried by the operating surgeon was way more unbearable.no one knew how hard it was for him to even assemble those words into sentences.and no one could ever describe the frustrations he bore.but he did what he had to and what he could do.resecting whatever he was able to take out,and closing the abdomen to wrap up the unfinished surgery.he had lost.he was defeated by the brutalilty of the cancer.its viciousness happened to know no boundaries.
i stood just next to the scrubbing post grad,watching him unflaggingly suctioning out the oozing blood coming out from almost everywhere.the intestine was eventually submerged in a pool of blood.it was scary,seeing it.eventhough i wasn't the one doing the surgery but i felt drained.and exhausted.
despite the fact that the abdominal incision was finally closed, it was distressing knowing that the abdomen continued to bleed within.
i wonder if the patient is still alive,while i am writing this.
but i really do hope he survives,at least to say goodbye to his beloved ones.
it's not the surgeon who determines the death of the patient,it's all up to Allah afterall.

but the gushing of blood,soaking the surgeon's OT gown and the pool of blood streaming down the floor would be a scene i could never forget.

have you ever really loved a woman????

well dis is just for fun,i saw this post at sum1's blog and decided to try it.kinda thrilling when you don't know what will come out as the answer for the questions provided.ironically,that's how life works,no one knows(except for Allah) what will happen tomorrow,not even the greatest fortuneteller.
okay the rules are you need to shuffle whatever player you are listening to right now and click next for every question and write whatever song you get as the answer no matter how silly it might be.:P

IF SOMEONE SAYS 'ARE YOU OKAY?' YOU SAY
tearin up my heart

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
L.O.V.E :)

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
supplication(true true)

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
i'm like a bird(it's a sunday after all!)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
i've seen

WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO?
dream

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
moonlight sonata(aww)

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
jangan pisahkan(sob sob)

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
satu hari di hari raya(haha)

WHAT IS 2 + 2?
Rocket.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
All over again.?

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
When you believe

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Akhir rasa ini ?

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Not that type of girl.

WHAT WILL/DID YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Saujana.(will not dance at my wedding anyway)

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
if i let you go(sampai hati...)

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
A twist in my story

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
Hold on

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Permaidani(duhh apa kaitan)

WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?
The reason

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Prisoner of love(gomenasai!!!)

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Have you ever really loved a woman????

the diffident and abashed creature.

The shy creature refused to show his face.
("this is not for display",he said, earnestly before the photo was taken)






After abundant of persuasions,the shy yet unidentified creature agreed to show the normal half of his face.Rumor has it that the other half was badly scarred to the ultimate ugliness.Is it true?






so the question was finally answered.
the thing that the shy creature tried to hide from being publicized(or criticized) was his asymmetrical front teeth! :P










(dear Allah,protect kimi from the evilness and harshness of life,in the world and the hereafter.AMIN)